Treasures....

For so many years what I valued as "MY Treasures" were so very different from what they are today.  I struggled for years to obtain "The American Dream" or what my view of that was. I went to college, got married, went through lots of different ups & downs, then I thought I was there. I felt as if my life had stabalized.  At that point I was married with 4 children.  My husband & I both had Great jobs. We had custom built a nice home, had nice new vehicles, my children were involved in Sports, Dance, & Gymnastics and doing quite well at them all.  I kept myself so busy with work & activities, just like I always wanted. So Why did I find myself miserable??? What was so wrong?? We went to Church.....when we had time. I believed in Jesus....I knew he was real.  Wasn't that enough??? What was this desire I had deep in my sole that NOTHING could fix.  Not staying so busy I didn't have time to think about it. Not parties or Alcohol, or hanging out with my friends as much as possible. Not shopping, or a nice New Bigger house. Not a new Suburban or the New Car. Not going on Vacation. No, not even blaming my husband & leaving him...... Then one night as I tried to sleep I began to toss & turn. I broke out in a complete sweat & had complete Anxiety! I seriously flipped back & forth for hours. I began to think about Spiritual warfare.  How as a teenager I had been taught that we wrestle not against flesh & blood, but against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (Eph 6:12)  I realized right then what was happening in my life!!! I was FAR from serving Jesus as I knew I should & Satan had a good stronghold on my life!!  I seriously flew up out of the bed very stressed out & quickly got ready and went to work. I was at work a very short time as I continued to panic & ask friends to pray with me. Obviously from the life style I was leading they thought I was Crazy & didn't KNOW WHAT I WAS SERIOUSLY ASKING!! I went to my boss & told her I had to leave. As soon as I hit the time clock & made it to my car I stopped with my hands gripping the stearing wheel & said out loud "OK GOD, I KNOW IT IS YOU....PLEASE HELP ME."  At that moment something in me BROKE & I began to weep. I dont mean cry a little, I mean I cried & cried & cried. I called Gordon & he met me to talk. As I continued to Cry & talk to him, he totally agreed that somewhere along the way we had both gotten so busy we had left God out of our lives......completely out of our Marriage. We stopped right then & called our Pastor.  He met with us that day. We talked & prayed & asked GOD to change our Hearts and Lives.  I told my husband that day that I had to completely give my life to God. I knew what had been wrong ALL that time......for Years & years. As a 17 year old Girl I knew without a doubt that God had placed a calling on my life. I knew I was supposed to spend my life commited to the work of my Heavenly Father.  Somewhere along the way I had gotten lost.....NO GOD HAD NOT LEFT ME.....My Love & Passion for the Things that really mattered in life had SLOWLY FADED....My heart had grown Hard.  I had made the decision to live that way.
  That day in December I remember telling Gordon that I could no longer be "a fence straddler", " a pew warmer", I knew I had to commit my life 200% to God & His Will for my life. I had to make God #1 in my life & in my marriage. I knew I had to give my children to the Lord & teach them as God instructs us to.  MY life was instantly changed, & has continued to change every year since then.  I continue this journey & have made my life prayer to ask God to open my eyes, my Heart, my ears.....to see, feel, & hear what HE wants me to.  I want to see where HE wants me to go & what HE wants me do. I desperatly want to HEAR my Heavenly Father when he speaks to me. I want to Feel for Others as He does. GOD continues to peel back the layers that are over my eyes one at a time....in His timing. LIFE has changed so Very, Very Much. My "Treasures" are no longer those that money can buy. The "American Dream".....whatever that was....I Dream for NO Longer. The Huge New House & Car are mine no more.  The credit cards are used No More.....getting rid of them one at a time.  Yes, I have made lots of mistakes & I'm sure I will make many more. The difference now is that I stop & ask God to direct my steps.....He is Always there to help me.  God has placed us on a path that I NEVER SAW COMING.......BUT I LOVE IT!  Yes, I'm sure I'm not the only person who didn't expect me to have 7 kids!!!!!  Adoption......I had friends who were adopted but it had NEVER crossed my mind!! Leave the US to go to the Poorest country in the Western Hemisphere to adopt 3 children & FALL IN LOVE WITH THE COUNTRY & IT'S PEOPLE........NEVER saw it coming!!! BUT.......THIS has ALL Happened!
YES, I have found a TREASURE like No Other. YES, I am ready to sell ALL for What I Have found.  Yes, I know not everyone will understand.  BUT.....IF YOU MUST KNOW.....I AM NOT LOOSING ANYTHING.  I AM GAINING SO MUCH MORE!!